Last night, while watching the DVR recording of my only daytime TV guilty pleasure, The Doctors, I found out about what is possibly the best new product ever. It's called the "Better Marriage Blanket". Now, you might be wondering what about this blanket could improve your marriage, and quite simply it's designed to absorb and eliminate the odor caused by your spouse's middle of the night flatulence. Genius.
What makes this quite possibly the best marriage saving product on the market right now is that it is made from military grade materials, designed to protect against chemical warfare. That really puts a new spin on what it is to sleep with a gassy spouse (or pet, I should add). I mean, you will never have to fear that "silent but deadly" dutch oven ever again - and if that's not saving marriages, I don't know what is.
While this sounds like a ridiculous hoax, it's legit folks! For a moment, I considered ordering one of these blankets for the holidays, but they're apparently a highly sought after item and the company that makes them is out of stock until December anyway. Perhaps I'll have to arm myself with a flak jacket and tear gas instead.